Legion Was Here: Mission 3 Neptune's Guest Guide

To complete Mission 3, Neptune’s Guest, identify Vulneek as the lower-left clown with the black goatee and MZ vest, then use the appearance details and infiltration answers below. The key traps are Neptunian right-to-left reading, Vulneek’s pronunciation of V as F, and fruit being toxic to Neptunians.

Investigation: Vulneek’s appearance

Trait	Correct choice	Evidence
Eye shape	Number 6: New World	Enlarged eye photograph
Lips	Number 5: Madonna	Gap tooth shown in the circus photograph
Ears	Number 1: Size Medium	Human disguise photograph
Eye color	Number 2: Brown	Neptunian analysis
Facial hair	Number 6: Deftones	Vulneek’s quiz says he prefers a goatee
Nose	Number 2: Holes	Circus photograph
Hair style	Number 7: Beverly Hills	Middle part in the human disguise photograph
Eyebrows	Number 2: Bushy	Large eyebrows in the interview image
Age	Number 2: Mature	Vulneek is 38 and described as middle-aged
Hair color	Number 3: Dark	Interview image

Investigation: notes to record

Identity and location

Human identity: Denis Laforge.
Vulneek is originally from Proteus, a moon of Neptune.
His Earth base appears to be New York City.
His terrestrial job is a clown in the Medori-Zoilonni Circus, also called the MZ troupe.
His circus colleague is Pizzoli.
The meeting is at Mount Rushmore in Keystone, South Dakota, on August 12 at midnight.

Food and biology

Neptunians can eat human food, but fruit is toxic to them.
Vulneek has had Riki Juice, likes Italian food, and dislikes anchovies.
Their digestion is invisible.
Brown spots indicate Neptunian disease.
Their bodies are made of methane and hydrogen and do not evaporate in Earth’s atmosphere.
A Neptunian nose is a Roalnek; reproductive organs are Xavorb. A glowing Xavorb indicates allergies.

Culture and speech

Neptunians read from right to left.
Vulneek pronounces the Neptunian letter V as F, so he says Fulneek and Falruk.
He insists on speaking Human while the mission is in progress.
Aarneek means goodbye.
The Neptunian war song is Valruk, Valruk, oo Valruk; Vulneek’s speech impediment changes it to Falruk, Falruk, Uo Falruk.
Neptunians love clowning as an art form. Vulneek considers Martians inferior and describes Plutonians as a “puddle with teeth.”

Meeting and cover story

Vulneek appears to be married; a wedding ring is visible in his human form.
The best explanation for being at Mount Rushmore is that he is there to observe the stars.
August is associated with meteor showers, so shooting stars are a suitable answer. Ursa Major is also an appropriate observation.

Infiltration answers

Question	Answer
1. Show me the secret gesture	Close your right hand, then raise your index and middle fingers.
2A. Why are you late? Location	New York isn’t exactly next door.
2B. Why are you late? Excuse	I had to give Mrs. Laforge an excuse.
3A. Why are you not taking off your costume?	I have brown spots at the moment.
3B. Do you prefer to stay in disguise?	My Xaforb is glowing right now.
4A. Can we speak Neptunian? Disguise identity	As long as I’m in my Denis costume, I speak Human.
4B. Can we speak Neptunian?	I’d rather stick to Human language until our mission here is complete.
5A. Which circus troupe are we in?	Medori-Zoilonni Circus.
5B. What is our circus colleague’s name?	Pizzoli.
6A. What is our favorite restaurant?	Yes, at Trattoria Napoli.
6B. What would we order there?	Pasta alla carbonara.
7. Which head is the named president on Mount Rushmore?	Use the reversed lineup: Abraham Lincoln is first, Theodore Roosevelt is second, Thomas Jefferson is third, and George Washington is fourth.
8. A ranger asks what we are doing here	Good evening, we came here to observe the stars.
9A. What do we hope to see tonight?	Shooting stars.
9B. What do we hope to see tonight?	Ursa Major.
10. We aren’t flying-saucer fanatics, are we?	I see what you mean … at the farthest reaches of the cosmos.
11A. Can you handle a simple button?	It’s okay, I’m not a Martian.
11B. Let’s shout our war cry	Falruk, Falruk, Uo Falruk.

Important traps

For the Mount Rushmore question, give the presidents in reverse order because Neptunians read right to left.
Use Xaforb and Falruk, not the standard spellings, when Vulneek’s V-to-F speech impediment applies.
Do not choose food containing fruit, including pineapple or tomato, and do not choose anchovies.
Do not reveal that you are an alien or claim that Vulneek can catch ordinary human diseases.